Tirin
Adventurous Watcher
Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 83
Your personal guardian angel
|
|
« on: March 22, 2009, 03:18:20 pm » |
|
Matthowseism
How the World was created
In Matthowseism, the world was created in seven days as the Christian bible suggests, with the following alterations:
On the first day, a planet made of water, and a planet made of earth, collided. This colossal smashing of planets caused the two planets to join together, to form a planet in which there was earth and water.
On the second day, green meteorites began to rain down from space, dispersing trees, grass, and other wildlife across the planet, thus there was greenery.
On the third day capsules rained down from space, which turned into animals. Those which landed in the sea became fish and amphibians. Those which did not reach land became creatures of the air.
On the fourth day, everyone relaxed and enjoyed this planet.
On the fifth day a man woke up in a tree and realized his planet made of earth was no longer a planet made just of earth, and all his brothers had died.
On the sixth day a woman woke up in another tree and realized her planet made of water was no longer a planet made just of water, and all her sisters had died.
On the seventh and final day, both man and woman discovered each other, invented beer, got drunk, and spent a wild night together, no longer depending on asexual reproduction and ensuring more diversity.
Gods of Matthowseism
The gods of Matthowseism are as follows:
Matthew, A.K.A., Matt. The creator and controller, and specifically the god of sex and beer. The most important of the gods, but at the same time, least often involved in the world's affairs.
Peter, A.K.A., Tirin, God of Time, Cold, and Shadows. Most often involved in the world's affairs.
Spiffums, God of Spiffiness.
Evan, God of Badassedness.
DW, A.K.A., Darkwarrior, and Chris, Gods of War.
Sjet, God of Knowledge and Logic.
Alexander, A.K.A., Alex, God of Music.
Principles
The principles of Matthowseism are as follows:
1. You are better looking than anyone, no questions asked.
2. Every guy and girl, do, in fact, want you. (Depending on which sex you are).
3. Two followers should never counter-act each other, both are extremely good-looking and can work together to get any guy or girl.
4. You are not emo.
5. Anyone who says differently are to be considered heathens.
Any questions?
|
|
« Last Edit: March 26, 2009, 07:08:10 pm by Tirin »
|
Report Spam
Logged
|
|
|
|
|
Viral
Blind Associate
Color-Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 130
|
|
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2009, 03:19:17 pm » |
|
No religion is the best, silly goose.
|
|
|
|
|
Itsuki Koizumi
A very handsome, good-looking man.
Omniscient Watchers
Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 75
The universe restarts.
|
|
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2009, 03:20:01 pm » |
|
No religion is the best, silly goose.
You lose. This one is better than any other.
|
|
|
|
Viral
Blind Associate
Color-Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 130
|
|
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2009, 03:20:44 pm » |
|
You lose. This one is better than any other.
Religion is for weak minded fools, you loose.
|
|
« Last Edit: March 22, 2009, 03:23:19 pm by CIFLIT »
|
Report Spam
Logged
|
|
|
|
Stealthy Killington I
Blindage Whore
Color-Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 213
|
|
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2009, 03:21:48 pm » |
|
I've said it before, I'll say it again. Matt is the only cool god in Matthowseism. Although Evan is pretty bad-ass.
|
|
|
|
Tirin
Adventurous Watcher
Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 83
Your personal guardian angel
|
|
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2009, 03:36:45 pm » |
|
I've said it before, I'll say it again. Matt is the only cool god in Matthowseism. Although Evan is pretty bad-ass.
You're wrong, and hence should feel terrible.Religion is for weak minded fools, you loose.
Since you build shrines to your horrible book, does that mean you're weak-minded?
|
|
|
|
Viral
Blind Associate
Color-Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 130
|
|
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2009, 03:40:46 pm » |
|
.Since you build shrines to your horrible book, does that mean you're weak-minded? I read the book, like, once. It's just another book that I read. I don't build shrines to every book I read.
|
|
|
|
Itsuki Koizumi
A very handsome, good-looking man.
Omniscient Watchers
Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 75
The universe restarts.
|
|
« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2009, 03:42:21 pm » |
|
I read the book, like, once. It's just another book that I read. I don't build shrines to every book I read.
You'd be a terrible librarian.
|
|
|
|
Viral
Blind Associate
Color-Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 130
|
|
« Reply #8 on: March 22, 2009, 03:42:57 pm » |
|
You'd be a terrible librarian.
Yes, yes i would.
|
|
|
|
Yuki Nagato
UTAWARERUMONO
Omniscient Watchers
Blind Fetus
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 25
I KICK REASON TO THE CURB TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.
|
|
« Reply #9 on: March 22, 2009, 03:43:10 pm » |
|
Pagan beliefs are looked down upon.
The advent of the Blind Runner Watchers is upon us. Heretics will be persecuted.
|
|
|
|
Kyon
Haruhi's Pet
Adventurous Watcher
Blind Fetus
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 35
*Sigh*
|
|
« Reply #10 on: March 22, 2009, 03:44:07 pm » |
|
RandomMan, Stop your power abusement.
|
|
|
|
Yuki Nagato
UTAWARERUMONO
Omniscient Watchers
Blind Fetus
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 25
I KICK REASON TO THE CURB TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE.
|
|
« Reply #11 on: March 22, 2009, 03:44:43 pm » |
|
Pffffffft.
|
|
|
|
Viral
Blind Associate
Color-Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 130
|
|
« Reply #12 on: March 22, 2009, 03:45:30 pm » |
|
Pffffffft.
You are a horrible person.
|
|
|
|
Itsuki Koizumi
A very handsome, good-looking man.
Omniscient Watchers
Blind Runner
Awesomeness +0/-0
Posts: 75
The universe restarts.
|
|
« Reply #13 on: March 22, 2009, 03:46:22 pm » |
|
Next person who posts in here dies. Stupid admins.
|
|
|
|
Yamaha Square-Enix
Blindage Whore
Color-Blind Runner
Awesomeness +1/-0
Posts: 113
Everybody's doing the anime name!... Wait, no.
|
|
« Reply #14 on: March 22, 2009, 11:29:12 pm » |
|
Sex.
|
|
|
|
|