Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice

[Tirin]

If I distribute samples of my blood after contracting (and, of course, completely owning) swine flu, will I be hailed as an international hero once they synthesize the antibodies in my blood?

[Dr. Nog]

They already have a cure for it...
The problem with Swine Flu is that since it works like the regular flu, not as many people report it and get help...
Now... If you get HIV and somehow cure yourself of that, then if you synthesize your blood you will be set for the rest of your life...

[Tirin]

Alright then, I'll need a dirty needle. My immune system will do it by itself, it's like a biological weapon.

That said, it might kill people if it gets inside of them. Well, we'll cross burn that bridge when we come to it.

EDIT: The massive amount of solid caramel I have eaten today is giving me mood swings. Help.

[MysteriaKiito]

Maybe you can tell me why I'm nauseous, have a stomach ache from hell, belching, fatigued, and dizzy.. And no, I don't think I'm pregnant! I am on birth control! The IUD kind! For a while I couldn't eat without feeling sick or stand up. I looked up this crap online and it says I was  chemically poisoned lmao. LM IS TRYING TO KILL ME!

[Dr. Nog]

Go to the doctor...
If the say the same thing idiots online said...
Then you may have to kill LM first...
I really wish I could do more...
But I need a file....
I know...
It's sorta sad how little we can do without something so simple sounding.