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1  Basic Suches / Shenanigans / Re: Rate the avatar on: May 02, 2009, 06:13:51 pm

She looks so happy, I couldn;t help but give a perfect score. What? I don;t see any bl- OH! THAT blood. Yeah, I see it, why? You think just because I'm Mad, I must like blood? Racist. Wait, who am i talking to?
2  Basic Suches / Shenanigans / Re: Noodles. How much do YOU love them? on: May 02, 2009, 04:44:53 pm
I love noodles SOOOOO much, I have a big pic of Noodles above my bed, and I spank it while looking at it.
3  Basic Suches / Shenanigans / Re: Noodles. How much do YOU love them? on: May 02, 2009, 04:35:26 pm
You were SUPPOSED to say how much you love noodles!

I love needles SOOOOO much, I grind them to paste, and drink them like an Icee.

It's a game. get it?
4  Basic Suches / Shenanigans / Noodles. How much do YOU love them? on: May 02, 2009, 04:28:19 pm

I love noodles SOOOOOO much, I bathe in them.

How much do YOU love noodles?
5  Basic Suches / Advice! / Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice on: April 26, 2009, 05:00:35 pm
Every six seconds, I slip into a deep form of depressed insanity, then slip back out. But, each time, I feel I slip farther and farther, and it causes problems on occasion. Advice?
6  Basic Suches / Shenanigans / Re: Gender. on: April 26, 2009, 04:56:52 pm
Gender? You speak of gender? I scoff. SCOFF I SAY!!! Gender is pointless. Gender means nothing. The only thing that truly matters is the biased mentality with which you veiw your own gender. For example, many women be gofr equality, beg to be treated equal, the complain and sue when a man says something he would to a man. Equality my ass. Then, of course, there are men. Men seem to find it socially acceptable to act like morons simply because they are men, as if it didn;t matter. Fools. But, I fear I am rambling, and must move on. Thank you for your time.
7  Roleplaying / Literature / Re: I've hit a wall in my road! on: April 25, 2009, 04:50:37 pm
Relationship stuff is incredibly easy to write, but impossible to teach how to write. Sorry. If you send me the part you're stuck on, I can give you a few suggestions.
8  Roleplaying / Literature / Re: The Story of Lucifer. Chapter Two: Lucy and the Voices (NOT about satan.) on: April 25, 2009, 04:48:26 pm
Chapter Three: Hard Work.

   They heaved with all their strength, but Lucifer knew it wouldn't budge. He knew, no matter how hard he pulled on his one of the six connected ropes, they would never move it. HE and the other students had been alternating between studying hard, and doing strange tasks that seemed to have nothing to do with Magic at all. At first they had studied the basics, the stuff Lucifer had been able to teach himself from his father's old Basic Manuel Of Magic. But then it took a turn for the insane. Magum had made them pull weeds, first. Then more studying. Then they had to move huge stones into a pile. Lucifer's arms were sore for a week. Then they were made to scale a cliff with a small boulder tied to all six of them, making the climb together, or fall to their deaths. Lucifer had almost made water at the sight of the ground from  so high, but he would have died from sheer embarrassment if he had. The tasks got worse and worse. The were made to carry a horse for over a mile, then they had to collect ancient tortoises from The Lake, and carry them back to the Callsroom, only to bring them back to the lake. And today was simply ridiculous.
   Magum had tied six ropes to a massive stone block and the group was now trying with all their strength to pull it across the grassy field. Lucifer turned between hearty heaves of his rope, to see that none of the others were even pulling, and were all snickering at him while his tiny, frail form yanked on a thousand stone boulder. He turned red, as red as his pale face cold turn, and let go of the rope. "God, guys! You could have SAID we weren't gonna pull it, or something!" He said, in frustration. Moria came over to Lucifer, her nine foot frame towering over his small, four foot body. She placed her massive, meaty hand on his head, and mussed his jet black hair. "Oh Lucifer,' She said, with a small smile that made Lucifer want to stab something, "We never started pulling. We just wanted to see if you would. Seriously, You'd stab yourself with a rusty letter opener if MAgum told you to." Lucifer was furious.

   Markus watched boredly as Lucifer began yelling at Moria. He and the voices laughed the the scene that unfolded before them. He heard the words as if they stood right beside him, but he knew they resided only in his head.
   "Oh man, look at how mad she's getting! I bet you seven silver she breaks his arm!"
   "MAR! You're betting on the welfare of a little boy!......I got twelve silver she punches him in the face."
   "Guys, you sicken me. He's my friend, I can't believe you would bet on his health!......Gah, I've got twenty silver she punts him like a leather ball."
   "Oh, oh! She's getting mad! OH CRAP! He just called her a Lummox! Oh, he's dead!"
   "Oh, dear, she certainly IS getting rather red...."
   " Oh man, it's only a matter of time bef- SPAWN OF A LICH!"
   Markus was equally as shocked at what happened. He couldn't even believe his eyes while it happened right before him.

"....AND YOUR MOTHER WAS THE FILTHY SPAWN OF A SICK GOAT AND A BRAIN DEAD BALOR!" Lucifer finished his rant. He had been getting angrier and angrier, and it was only now, as he stood breathing deeply, that he saw the rage on Moria's face. He whimpered like a kicked puppy. Before he could even flinch, her meaty hands had gripped his lower body like a club. She swung him like a twig, and he knew it would end badly. He felt his skull smash something hard, and his vision got fuzzy. He heard the sound of stone being bashed apart by a hammer as his head struck a second time. He felt blood trickle down his face. He swung around and around, then suddenly his direction changed, and he was swung straight down on the boulder they had been moving. He felt himself drop to the cool grass, and he tried to get to his hands and knees, but his arms and legs were wobbly, and he could barely prop himself up. Then, just as he got up to all fours, he felt the massive foot of Moria come crashing down on his back. He screamed. He felt ribs crack, and he was sure his spine had broken, or at least cracked. He lay in the grass, beaten and broken. He dared not move.
   Lucifer's vision was blotchy and faded, and dark. He saw everything as if he was deep in a tunnel, and it was all happening very far away. He watched as two of the other students, whose names seemed unimportant, dragged him along the Field. He watched himself scream in pain from his own shattered ribs. He watched them pick up his small body, and carry him like a bloodied rag doll. He saw a look of horror and sorrow on Moria's face. She didn't want to hurt him, but she clearly had a temper. Temper...I should get a sword! Even as he thought it, he knew his mind was drifting. He knew it wouldn't be long before he slipped into unconsciousness. He could barely support his head. He got himself ready, and opened his mouth to speak. Only blood came out where words should have been. His lungs had been punctured. He would not survive this. He managed a word. "Stop..." They stopped. He slowly raised his weak legs, and placed them on the ground, and stood. He wobbled over to Moria with eh last of his strength, and said, in a blood filled whisper, "Don't was my fault." The he collapsed against her leg, and slipped away.

   Lucifer saw the man, and walked to him. it was the same dream he had had since his twelfth birth gift celebration, just under a year ago. His thirteenth birth gift was in only a few days. He walked to the man and said "Hello" as always. the man turned, and it was Lucifer, but older. But it it wasn't. It was his father. His father spoke, as he did every night for the last year. "On your thirteenth birth gift day, you must go to the cave behind your home. There you will find my gift to you." Lucifer nodded. He and his father walked to his home, in the dream, and he showed him the strange secret door on the cave behind the home. They walked in. He saw what he always saw. He saw a sword, a book, suit of leather armor, and a cape. He knew they would be his. Then his lungs exploded, and he screamed.

   Lucifer awoke in a  bed in the Herbalists home. His chest felt like it was full of embers, and his mouth hurt from having blood dry in it. He whimpered in pain, and the other two people in the room ran up to see him. His mother. And Moria. Moria...."Hello Mother....How are you?" He was interupted by a fit of coughing, which sprayed bits of dry blood out on the white sheets of the bed. She cried. Moria sniffed, and ran out. Lucifer didn't understand what was wrong. Everything seemed fine. Everything.....Everything. Wait.....What WAS everything....He seemed not to be able to remember many things. "Mother....What am I doing here?"

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN! Stay tuned for chapter four, which hopefully wont take so very long next time. Seriously, I'll make it a weekly chapter update. From this day forward, I will update this story every saturday! Stay tuned for more.

ALSO: Apparently there is a 20000 character limit for posts, so every two chapters will be put into a seperate post. So this single post will house chapters three and four, and the next will have five and six, and so on. Have a nice day.
9  Basic Suches / Shenanigans / Re: Rate the avatar on: April 25, 2009, 03:33:10 pm
5/10 because it looks like he's putting on a rubber glove to give someone an anal exam.....Or maybe I'm over analysing it.
10  Roleplaying / Literature / Re: The Story of Lucifer. Chapter Two: Lucy and the Voices (NOT about satan.) on: April 25, 2009, 03:29:29 pm
I've been busy with something that's NOT a two-month WoW subscription. Seriously, it's not.
11  Basic Suches / Topics That Are Unrelated! / Re: PYP? (Post Your Pics) on: April 15, 2009, 01:01:38 am
I'll post my pic tommorow. IT'Ll BLOW YOUR MINDS!!!!
12  Basic Suches / Shenanigans / Re: Rate the avatar on: April 15, 2009, 12:58:42 am
2(72-68)+2 / 5-5+10-5+10+10-15

ANSWER:  10/10
13  Basic Suches / Advice! / Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice on: April 08, 2009, 06:05:08 pm
Every second a thousand thousand voices scream out in agony from the deepest fathoms of my souls, and it takes every ouce of my strength not to be pulled from my tenuous grip of sanity that I hold to so voraciously.

14  Basic Suches / Topics That Are Unrelated! / Re: KAIBYE on: April 07, 2009, 07:50:13 pm
I know a ten year old who has had sex.

*Everyone stares with open mouths*

I know, I was grossed out too, but it happened. Apparently, his female friend has very low self-esteem, and her parents leave her home alone alot. Ew.
15  Roleplaying / Literature / Re: The Story of Lucifer. Chapter Two: Lucy and the Voices (NOT about satan.) on: April 07, 2009, 05:28:45 pm
It's been on haiatus for a while, so I'm accually resuming writing right now. Today.
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