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Basic Suches => Advice! => Topic started by: Dr. Nog on April 05, 2009, 08:05:33 am



Title: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 05, 2009, 08:05:33 am
Lately I've been seeing some random complaints by Bandanana assorted people and I figured I can give my god-like advice to those who need it...
So ask a question and if it isn't anything I can easily make fun of you might get an answer....


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Stealthy Killington I on April 05, 2009, 08:47:59 am
Might as well ask it here too. Why am I a Mountain Goat?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 05, 2009, 09:23:37 am
Because Mountain Goat's are better assassins then people... They blend in with the surroundings in a city environment...
Let me give you an example...
Your walking down the street and you see two things... A shady looking mountain goat... And a shady looking person.... Who do you call the guards on first?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Stealthy Killington I on April 05, 2009, 09:26:12 am
Because Mountain Goat's are better assassins then people... They blend in with the surroundings in a city environment...
Let me give you an example...
Your walking down the street and you see two things... A shady looking mountain goat... And a shady looking person.... Who do you call the guards on first?
I call the guards on the person, and animal control on the goat.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 05, 2009, 09:46:50 am
But you didn't call the guards on the goat... So the goat kills the animal control and gets away with the oats....


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Yamaha Square-Enix on April 06, 2009, 04:59:30 am
Hey, just because I'm having a hard time sleeping-... Ohh, assorted people, alright.

Anyway:

1) Nothing big, but somehow yes.

2) None whatsoever

3) Recently, no I haven't.

I'm honestly glad we have a doctor around the forums.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Stealthy Killington I on April 06, 2009, 05:35:21 am
Hey, just because I'm having a hard time sleeping-... Ohh, assorted people, alright.

Anyway:

I'm honestly glad we have a doctor around the forums.
Don't worry band, you're just nervous about the move.  I'm sure Spiffy Eggy will agree with me on this. Your nerves are just getting the best of you, nothing more. Try to just get your mind off of the subject entirely. Spend more time with friends.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 06, 2009, 06:22:02 pm
While the goat could be correct...
It's also quite possible you just haven't had enough sex recently....


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Yamaha Square-Enix on April 07, 2009, 12:05:24 am
Well, I've only been excercising only one muscle... No, wait NO, YOU HEARD NOTHING!!

And in a serious note, I haven't seen my friends for two weeks already, so it would be a good idea to do so. I'm actually more worried about leaving everyone here for Canada, and I have no intentions to make a move.

And I won't regret it. I think.

I'll head out for a jog. Maybe tomorrow, and maybe do some sit-ups and push-ups tonight.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 07, 2009, 03:27:44 pm
Your moving to Canada?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Itsuki Koizumi on April 07, 2009, 04:11:22 pm
I **** pigs. Solutions?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Konata Izumi on April 07, 2009, 05:23:13 pm
✖✖✖ Ҟorny Șays✖✖✖

Guys confused me =(


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 07, 2009, 08:29:11 pm
Eat less bacon?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Zhar the Mad on April 08, 2009, 06:05:08 pm
Every second a thousand thousand voices scream out in agony from the deepest fathoms of my souls, and it takes every ouce of my strength not to be pulled from my tenuous grip of sanity that I hold to so voraciously.

Help?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Itsuki Koizumi on April 08, 2009, 06:29:26 pm
I ate a jumping bean. Turns out it was ****. Counter-act medicine advice?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: NegativeKABOOSE on April 09, 2009, 02:53:25 am
How do I L2P?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 09, 2009, 07:49:00 am
Every second a thousand thousand voices scream out in agony from the deepest fathoms of my souls, and it takes every ouce of my strength not to be pulled from my tenuous grip of sanity that I hold to so voraciously.

Help?

Sanity is over-rated.... Just go with it.

I ate a jumping bean. Turns out it was ****. Counter-act medicine advice?

Do what comes naturally when you have one of those.
How do I L2P?

j00 cant n00b! R0FL1111111111




Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Itsuki Koizumi on April 09, 2009, 12:26:31 pm
I was terminated by a robo dinosaur. How am I supposed to regain my physical form?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 09, 2009, 12:51:43 pm
Interesting..
For this exact prognosis I need some information...

(1): Was it a Raptor based dinosaur?

(2): Did it fire lasers, missiles  or both?

(3): Did you deserve it?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Itsuki Koizumi on April 11, 2009, 03:28:05 pm
Interesting..
For this exact prognosis I need some information...

(1): Was it a Raptor based dinosaur?

(2): Did it fire lasers, missiles  or both?

(3): Did you deserve it?
1- It was not. TRICERITOPS

2- Both and acid.

3- Do I deserve ANY badness? No. L2l, nub.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 11, 2009, 03:37:26 pm
A Triceritops that fired lasers, missiles, and sprayed acid at you...
I'm sorry... I'm afraid that's even out of the reaches of miracles done by god....


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Itsuki Koizumi on April 11, 2009, 04:36:24 pm
A Triceritops that fired lasers, missiles, and sprayed acid at you...
I'm sorry... I'm afraid that's even out of the reaches of miracles done by god....
It's eating me.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 11, 2009, 05:20:22 pm
Try topical ointment...
It can clear that right up...


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Itsuki Koizumi on April 13, 2009, 06:02:13 pm
Try topical ointment...
It can clear that right up...
I'm being digested, but I get a really good internet signal in here...


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Stealthy Killington I on April 24, 2009, 08:23:33 pm
Eggy, I need real, serious, medical advice. I hope you're better at diagnosing than you are at surgery. I puked twice tonight, within about half of an hour of each other. My stomach was hurting for a few hours beforehand, and felt swollen and sore. Now, after the second puke, I feel perfectly fine, as though my stomach has deflated each time I puked, completely deflating after the second time. This has happened two or three times before, but it's been several months since that. These previous occasions happened in subsequent weeks, occuring seven to eight days from each other. Any idea what is causing this?

Edit: The pain returned later that night, and I puked at 4 am again.

Edit2: Not sure if it matters at all, but I took a shot of Pepto-Bismol inbetween the first and second pukes or right after the second. Don't remember which though.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 26, 2009, 02:19:05 am
You may want to go in for a check-up at a office...
The only advice I can think of without having your file would be that there's a common food you've eaten before each set of instances.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Itsuki Koizumi on April 26, 2009, 07:51:28 am
I'm eating Fruit Loops.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Stealthy Killington I on April 26, 2009, 10:39:15 am
You may want to go in for a check-up at a office...
The only advice I can think of without having your file would be that there's a common food you've eaten before each set of instances.
Yeah, turns out that I most likely have abdominal migrains. Awesome.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Zhar the Mad on April 26, 2009, 05:00:35 pm
Every six seconds, I slip into a deep form of depressed insanity, then slip back out. But, each time, I feel I slip farther and farther, and it causes problems on occasion. Advice?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 27, 2009, 09:56:09 pm
Every six seconds, I slip into a deep form of depressed insanity, then slip back out. But, each time, I feel I slip farther and farther, and it causes problems on occasion. Advice?

I can't tell... Are you serious?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Tirin on April 28, 2009, 02:36:06 pm
If I distribute samples of my blood after contracting (and, of course, completely owning) swine flu, will I be hailed as an international hero once they synthesize the antibodies in my blood?


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on April 28, 2009, 05:16:07 pm
They already have a cure for it...
The problem with Swine Flu is that since it works like the regular flu, not as many people report it and get help...
Now... If you get HIV and somehow cure yourself of that, then if you synthesize your blood you will be set for the rest of your life...


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Tirin on April 28, 2009, 05:35:36 pm
Alright then, I'll need a dirty needle. My immune system will do it by itself, it's like a biological weapon.

That said, it might kill people if it gets inside of them. Well, we'll cross burn that bridge when we come to it.

EDIT: The massive amount of solid caramel I have eaten today is giving me mood swings. Help.


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: MysteriaKiito on May 13, 2009, 06:34:54 pm
Maybe you can tell me why I'm nauseous, have a stomach ache from hell, belching, fatigued, and dizzy.. And no, I don't think I'm pregnant! I am on birth control! The IUD kind! For a while I couldn't eat without feeling sick or stand up. I looked up this crap online and it says I was  chemically poisoned lmao. LM IS TRYING TO KILL ME!


Title: Re: Dr. Nog's Discount Medical Advice
Post by: Dr. Nog on May 13, 2009, 11:09:33 pm
Go to the doctor...
If the say the same thing idiots online said...
Then you may have to kill LM first...
I really wish I could do more...
But I need a file....
I know...
It's sorta sad how little we can do without something so simple sounding.